I'm in a hurry to get things done, oh I, rush and rush until lifes no fun.....
Ever just feel that way about life?? Over here at the Steffen house were in transition, you could say. I think I have created a mess -- now its time for me to clean it all up. Were packing up after our short 6 month stay here in Windom, and moving back to the home we own in St. James. I say this with a bit of a heavy heart, yet I am anxious to get back home :). I feel pretty silly that it took moving our family over here to realize that I can't handle my husband being gone for an extra hour a day. I've given the "grass isn't always greener" speech as my reason for needing to move back. When I was living in St. James, I think I felt like everyone was getting together (without me), building relationships (without me), having a great time (without me). Realistically, I have GREAT friends -- and while being in Windom has been convenient for friendship, its really taken a toll on our family. But living in Windom or not, I've been given much reassurance that my friends will still be there for me!! I've been searching for comfort, and the Lord has definitely provided that in my amazingly supportive husband and incredibly loving friends. My family has also been soooo understanding and supportive (and they moved me over here, so have every reason to be uber annoyed!!) Oh boy, I've definitely been an emotional rollercoaster these days!! Ever just feel like everyone has all the reason in the world to just close the door on you and walk away from you -- because your such a mess?? That's how I've been feeling, but WOW -- I'm ready to be over it one minute, and the next I find myself engulfed in a sea of tears feeling sorry for myself.
Enough is enough. I'm just not equipped to handle being emotionally drained for this long. I think it was through the Dave Ramsey class that we took where I heard that people in their 20's are trying to hurry up and have everything there parents worked 20 years to get. I just keep trying to remind myself that I am only 24 years old and have plenty of life ahead of me, I don't need to accomplish everything and have everything I'd ever dreamt of RIGHT NOW!! Still a hard concept for me. However, since were moving back to our house instead of moving into a "dream house"... we might be splurging on a camper this year. That truly makes me smile!! Just a little nervous about work-a-holic Matt and his ability to sneak away for camping adventures with me :)
I was looking through my e-mail, and this is the same e-mail I have had since the beginning of time. I have folders with e-mails in there from 10-12 years back. Some of the e-mails are those "fill it out" e-mails, where you answer questions about yourself and send it to whoever you want to fill it about themselves. Or was I the only one who did that?? :) You can learn a lot about a person that way!! I can think of several people that I would love to learn more about, hmmm.. haha. But they were hilarious - I mean, how deep can I get with my answers when I was 12 and my oh my have my ideas and thoughts changed! Really gets me to thinking, what am I going to be thinking about these thoughts/ideas that I'm having now in another 10 years :). Maybe for sake of humiliation, its time to shut this blog down!! Haha..
On a brighter note, those 3 little lamb chops of mine are ever growing and learning and beaming!! Noah is SUCH a big helper! I just love the organized play that he designs for the littler ones. He is quick to get them all dancing or playing "roll the ball". He is an awesome distraction for housework :) But clearly, I don't always use my time as wisely as I should (just nevermind the unfolded towels ;)) I can't even begin to express how greatful I am that Kendra WANTS her cochlear implants on. Miles is still not the biggest fan of his hearing aids, they can be a choking hazard -- and I honestly can't just sit at his side all day and make sure he's not deciding to eat them. Its still a struggle, but I know there will be a breakthrough.. I just have to be patient and see it all through!!!!! Last night, I was at my Moms because Matt had to work really late. Miles was kind of cranky so she decided to give him a bath and afterwards he was just a ball of energy!! It was hilarious because he would walk into the furniture and have a giggle fit. My mom joked that there must have been something in the bath water. With a grin from ear to ear, just thinking about my little munchkins -- Life is pretty great :)
